I got to compete…

For my first Grappling Industries competition, the logistics were far from perfect, and the bracket I competed in was small and shrunk even more by the time we were ready to roll.  But that’s not what this post is about.  

Growing up, playing sports and competing was a huge part of my life. I had full support of both my parents, and my Dad was passionately involved until he became sick, when I was sixteen. Then later in 2001, at twenty-three, a medical diagnosis (HCM) made the idea of competing even recreationally in most things off-limits.

In 2013, when I came into the girls' lives, they were already both active in sports and I loved watching them compete. In the spectrum of problems we all face in life, sports can admittedly seem silly and maybe even privileged. But I loved watching the girls learn to celebrate winning, learn how to lose, deal with adversity, be great teammates, and walk the fine line of being satisfied with success, but wanting to always be better.  And I wanted to be part of it too - so badly did I want to be able to compete in front of my girls.  

Two years ago a new cardiologist indicated that there wasn’t any strong evidence that some subset of HCM folks needed to modify their lives as much as originally thought.  This year, a large study was published noting the same thing: Vigorous Exercise in Patients With Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy.  I remember privately messaging one of the physicians involved in the study that this result was just as life-altering as the original diagnosis.  I mean, my life, my career is built around exercise and movement and sport.  

And so, with the help of a great team, many of whom don’t even know the full story (intentionally), I was able to compete yesterday for the first time in twenty-two years. In front of my family. My heart is so full it hurts.  It’s hard to say exactly how this feels without sounding overly dramatic, but… I am so happy.  

Thank you to my family for such unwavering support.  Thank you to my MASS BJJ team not just for amazing training, but for reminding me that even as a socially awkward introvert, it’s ok to feel proud to be part of a group. And huge thank yous to Luis, Robb, and Josh who all gave me extra time, coaching, and thorough smashing - I owe you all, and will happily repay my debt.

I don’t know what comes next.  But I know I have miles to go before I sleep.  

(…and Josh - maybe some work on the cross-face.)